Lacking Perfection
by Kairinu-sama
Summary: Dolls can be repaired if broken. This is why they are superior to humans. RR please!


Story inspired by the foul works of Maria! From Silent Hill 2! Okay…so far this will be a one chapter story, angst and crap, unless I reeaaaallly like it…then I might make it have multiple chapters and a definite pairing, so it is a story…doubt it though. 

Kagome is abandoned yet again by Inuyasha and takes refuge in a lonely field of flowers and butterflies. Angst-y moments! Inuyasha is a bizatch-ho….

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, if I was the lucky creator, Sesshoumaru-sama would rape Naraku and Inuyasha would run off with Kouga-kun or Miroku-san.

Story Start : Lacking Perfection

"_Dolls can be repaired if broken. This is why they are superior to humans."_

--Muraki Kazutaka

Kagome's P.O.V

The butterflies…so sickeningly beautiful, it almost hurts to look at them. Watching them frolicking among the spores and hideous fragrances. Where do they get off enjoying their meaningless lives? So short it doesn't matter. It…somehow it reminds me of myself. Lacking so much perfection that nobody cares. He was a good actor, excellent actually. He could have won an award. Making me feel like he loved me. Killing me slowly with false faith. They were all good actors; acting like nothing was wrong. Sickening really, I feel like some grotesque monster. Laying here among the green reeds of self-indulgence, taking in the scent of self-pity. Enjoying the lack of everything, the lack of perfection, happiness, love. It was all a lie. A big, horrendous scam to crush my heart and scatter it to the winds.

And here I am, wallowing in self-hatred. Why must I be so…so imperfect, so socially inept that nobody wants to be around me for very long. I could end it right now, in this meadow of guileless hatred; I could do it…but what will it benefit me? There could be something more for me, out there. They might not want me, but somebody does. I'm sure of it. I can get new friends…become a new me…forget everything I hold dear. I could do so much, be so much more; and yet here I am still, thinking of suicide because I'm lonely. Have I really sunk so low? Have I become what I disapprove of so much?

The butterflies have gone to be replaced with squirming maggots…imitations of my self-hate. The flowers have wilted, replaced by grotesque corpses. I get up, only to find Him standing at the edge of the meadow. He turns away quickly, and runs off into the trees. I stare after him, my eyes empty…my soul having no room for any more remorse. My tears having been dried up long ago by so much crying…sobbing. Painful nights of screaming for someone to save me. No one ever came though, shattering my hopes for a savior, for someone who can love me. Who can love something like me? I have no answers for my constant questions, their answerless questions because no body can hear them being asked.

I've lived in this ugly, festering paradise so long, I've forgotten what true beauty is. The only beauty I've found was in the lies I told myself so that I can pretend I'm happy. The ugliness I am made up of is so great and disgusting, I can't make out what's me anymore. The me I pretended to be, broke away and died; she had become fed up with living in this lie, so much so that she disappeared, became nothing so I could be by myself in the lie I've created so perfectly flawless. I can't escape from my horrid prison of lies and smothering remorse. It all ends when I can no longer feel my limbs, when I can no longer take in a breath…but it is not time for endings yet. Goodbyes have no need to be said. Not yet.

The complications, the lack of everything. I'll perfect myself so that nobody can dislike me…I'll change myself into what they all desire. Somebody new. Somebody more perfect, so that I have no more reason to fear what people might think. So that I have no reason to be unloved, so that I have a reason more to love in return.

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A.N. So…did youz (the readers.) enjoy my crap-tastic piece of angst crap? R+R please, I beggeth you! Thank you .

Kairinu-sama signing off.

"Kangaroo's can't wear pants because if they have babies the fetus will get stuck!"

Me (from my conversation with my lord and master XD)


End file.
